I like to consider myself a somewhat clear-thinking, fairly grounded, decent chap. Heck, I even contribute, once a year, some loose change to the Salvation Army kettle. I am gainfully employed and usually pay my bills on time, and generally try to do the 'right thing' during my time whilst on this mortal coil.
As of late, however, I have been doing a bit of soul-searching, and have been re-evaluating certain "obsessions" that have been dominating my life for many years. Perhaps obsession is the wrong word: perhaps "passion" (not in the Jesus sense) is more appropriate.
"GET TO THE POINT!"
Did I just hear someone scream that, or was I just trying to be my old witty self? Hmm...
The reason for this is:
Okay. Since I was a wee lad, I have had a relationship with something that may or may not (and probably does not) exist. I have never seen this thing, know of any tangible evidence of it, and will probably never visit the place where this thing is reputed to exist. My bag, my hang-up, my 'thing':
"THE LOCH NESS MONSTER"!
As Fred Sanford might say, "are you crazy?". Well, yes and no. Do I really believe some prehistoric beast or some weird anomaly of nature is dwelling in a large (900 feet deep in some spots, and nearly impossible see anything underwater because the water is the color of Lipton tea) body of water? Not really. Do I believe the eye-witness accounts of the folks who have claimed to have seen this thing, in the water, as well as on land? Well, let's just say they make for fun and intriguing tales, but in all reality, the eyewitnesses are either full of dung, or they are mistaking the LNM (what insiders call it) for other creatures on God's green earth, such as swans, fish, eels, etc, swimming in the loch.
That being said, as 'they' say, I still have found it to be a fun little hobby over the years. Also somewhat costly. I have a large collection of LNM books that I have amassed over the years. Most of them were published during the 1970's, which seemed to have been when interest in the LNM was at it's peak. "Ladies and Gentlemen, my Collection!"
The collection is still growing, as every few years, someone trots the subject matter out back to the forefront, sometimes spewing the same information that we have all known and loved for years, sometimes, (rarely) putting a fresh spin on it. Either way, if it's a fairly decent book, I will usually purchase it, because I am also a borderline hoarder.
Hi, Hi, Hi !
Ain't she cute? Our Nessie. "Nessie" is her little nickname. Probably to put an innocent spin on a beast that is capable of ripping a man to shreds, dare he swim the dark waters of Loch Ness.
Probably the first recorded account of a creature in Loch Ness responsible for the death of a human being occurred in roughly 563 AD (contact my attorney if my information is inaccurate) according to Saint Columba (look him up). Is the loch a safe place to swim? I cannot say, but there is an old saying that says "The Loch never gives up its dead". Scary, right? Apparently, Loch Ness, by some accounts, can be a creepy place to be. Judging by the photos I've seen of the tourists hanging around the iconic Urquhart castle, I tend to agree.
Photographic evidence?
There is certainly no dearth of photos of the alleged "monster". Unfortunately, most of them are grainy, out of focus affairs, captured on cameras produced in the 1800's. Even in this age of "social media", wherein seemingly everyone has a 'smart phone' with a camera, the few photos that have been taken of the LNM, are still of the grainy, out of focus variety. Therein lies the other part of LMN lore, "THE HOAXER".
In my mind, the lengths and efforts some folks have put forth to concoct a photo of the LMN are as just as intriguing as the 'sightings' by the eyewitnesses. From the famous "surgeon's photo" to the fake 'hump' of 2015, the fun never seems to end!
Will it ever end?
In this day and age of digital information and almost instant "breaking news", one would think that an old and hoary tale of a mythical beast swimming in a lake would be obsolete, but the LMN legend endures via the web through various blogs (no plugs here) and other digital rubbish. UFO's, Bigfoot, LMN, Dogmen, Mothmen, etc, as well as late-night paranormal radio broadcasts and podcasts are abundant, so apparently, there is an interest in the weird and bizarre. As George Taylor once said: I'm a seeker too. But my dreams aren't like yours. I can't help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man. Has to be.
