You're always sucking on the gas tank before I can cap it!

Energy Vampires really do suck! Vampires? In this day and age? Oh yes, my friends, they do exist.

Not in the traditional sense. Not in the blood-sucking, sharp-fanged, Bela Lugosi sense. Nope- these suckers don't need to be back in their coffins before sunrise: these pests are available 24 hrs a day!

Oh, you know the type: the annoying "neighbor", the co-worker, etc. Hell, even a Family member.

 Just the other day, I had to visit the local hardware store to buy a bucket. I was wearing what I deem to be my raunchiest-smelling work shirt (I had just finished mowing our lawn) and I was feeling rather sweaty and "ripe". As I stood in line waiting (as usual), a woman and her daughter stood in line next to me quite close. I was aware that I had a foul stench emanating from my body, as I could smell it myself.

Did this annoying person back away, due to my aroma? No. In fact she positioned herself even closer. Perhaps there is something to be said about the female attraction to male pheromones. If this is the case,  the next time I do yard work, I should wring the sweat out of that abomination I call a shirt, and bottle the stuff. Maybe I could make enough cash to finally retire. In the end, maybe the poor yenta learned a lesson, and won't stand so close to people waiting in lines, therefore granting what every human being deserves: "personal space". Somehow, I doubt it. She's probably a closet fart-huffer, also.

Do Energy Vampires have a defining look? Not really, but once one is in your presence, you will feel the energy slowly fading from your body. Sometimes, just hearing the phone ringing can be a draining experience. Or a knock on the door. I've never read the works of Dorothy Parker, but she was spot-on with her "What fresh Hell is this?" remark.

How can one avoid Energy vampires? It's damn near impossible. Even if you lived on an uncharted island somewhere, hundreds of miles from "civilization", you can bet that eventually, some random SOB would somehow trundle upon your domain.

No, I'm afraid we are stuck with these bastards. Fresh Hell, indeed...